Quasi-Manifesto

Hey everyone!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm taking the year off from drinking, so I'll be doing the OTHER thing Irish girls are known for to celebrate. Not tolerating any bullshit :).

Today's post isn't exactly lighthearted, but this is my venue for . . . whatever I want to say, so I'll say it. I need to vent so I can relax and gather some strength to do a workout, because right now I'm just stressed and exhausted.

Let me set the stage for you. MKBBF and I have a pretty traditional relationship in that we both take the commitment and connection very very seriously. We have both dealt with stressors in the past revolving around old girlfriends and boyfriends soiling the current relationship, and dating people who have been less than honest.

One week at church there was a message about relational guardrails (it was actually an entire series - but the relationship piece was one message). The premise of the talk was that guardrails exist to keep us on THIS side of the safe zone. That isn't to say that immediately over the guardrail is something dangerous, but SOME where, over THERE lies a situation or person or place which should be avoided.

We took the opportunity to implement some of these guardrails in our relationship. The first and most obvious to implement (also the only one I'm blogging about) was to have zero contact between us and our former bedfellows. There is no room for anything but the present in our relationship, and connecting to past romance and spoiled love detracts from present time consciousness. It's just that simple.

Last night one of MKBBF's exes decided to make her presence known on Facebook, despite having been asked to please not have contact several months ago when she attempted. So I sent her a VERY polite benefit of the doubt message indicating our firm "no exes" policy, asked for her cooperation, and signed off with "I hope you're well". I also clearly indicated that my wishes were genuine and none of it was out of snark. So when, during breakfast I received a (poorly worded somewhat inane and generic) message from her tearing me and my relationship with MKBBF apart, I took issue with it. MKBBF has since handled the situation, and I don't think we'll be hearing from her again. *side note: quickest way to annoy a non-imbecile: mix up your and you're.*

Even still - I feel compelled to make a few things clear and submit them to the universe. MKBBF and I have both been failed MISERABLY in the past. I have never dropped the ball on him the way others have, and he has always done right by me and stood by my side which has unfortunately not been all that common for me either. It has taken us each a lot of agonizing splits, let downs and personal growth to combine at this stage on life's road, and look ahead holding hands.

The person you fall in love with, your partner, becomes your first family. They're the only person IN your family you get to choose. MKBBF is mine, and there is NO ONE I wouldn't challenge to protect our life together. Our relationship is a fortress. But someone has to be resilient to the rascalions and garbage on the outside, and keep them from getting in, or the walls we've built don't matter. I will never waver in my duty to deny unhealthy situations or people entry into our world. You can call it paranoid, you can call it uptight, you can skew and bastardize it as a lack of trust. You can be wrong.

Ultimately "he who walks with the wise becomes wise, but the company of fools suffers harm." I'm not in the market to become a fool, nor am I interested in idiocy marring the integrity of the trust MKBBF and I share. We have deliberately built our castle on THIS side of the guardrail to distance ourselves from the riffraff on THAT side of it.

I will NEVER stop and I will NEVER apologize for being one of the ever vigilant guards of my family. I love MKBBF dearly, and it is by faith and fortitude I plan to continue.

Now you know.





shamROCK!